The Interview

1. Let’s start out easy. Tell us about Forged by Greed. What inspired the series, and what’s at the core of it? What’s FBG all about?

Ah, the Forged Series characters and I have been living in this imaginary world for a while now. They have started to talk to me a few years ago, first posing as different characters, and then finally revealing their true personalities. Forged by Greed has started as a Middle Grade novel, but that was a short-lived attempt. Two protagonists—Jatred and Jasmira—decided they are much more mature than the eleven-year-olds would be.

The story takes place in present day Seattle, where two Shape Shifters Races, the Winter wolves and the Summer leopards, live well-hidden among humans, perfectly fitting into modern life. Both Races are organized into secret societies, governed with the help of their own laws, rules, and traditions clearly outlined in each Race’s Accords.

Two powerful, ancient deities—the Winter Goddess, Crystal and the Summer Goddess, Amber—lead and watch over their respective Races.

And there is this extremely powerful Amulet, which existence and magical abilities are known only to a very few. It remains concealed by the means of the latest technology. Jatred, the guardian of the Amulet becomes key to the Goddesses’ conflict.

The Universe is… delicately speaking, finicky, and so every ten thousand years the Human World suffers the effects of the Universe belching out its powers. When the forces of nature are disrupted, earthquakes, tsunamis, and volcanic eruptions rake the world.  The Goddesses go to war and summon all their Shifters to join in the conflict.

What happens next? Two protagonists, Jatred and Jasmira of course have to step in and fight for their love and to protect the future of both Races and humankind.

2. You’re website’s author bio states you’re passionate about fashion, specifically when it comes to stilettos. My wife has a similar shoe obsession, and I just don’t understand it. Can you enlighten me a little? What is it about shoes that get women so excited?

Let me use an example. Imagine a pair of sexy stilettos on your wife’s feet. Now imagine her wearing a pair of clunky, old flats. In both scenarios, she’s slowly circling around you, her hands on her hips, a small smile playing on her lips. Which pair of shoes evokes hotness? Okay, so you don’t have to answer this, unless you want to, hehe.

3. Let’s do a little get to know you session here. Tell us five things about you that we won’t find on your website’s “About” page, or in your author bio.

Sure. One: I love spending time in the nature. This is where the best ideas for my writing are born.

Two: I hate rain. Yep, I know this might sound weird, considering I’ve been living in the Seattle area for 21 years. Well, one day I will buy a house on a tropical beach (*grins*).

Three: My latest passion is archery. I hope to beat Katniss in a near future.

Four: I am addicted to downhill skiing.

Five: My mom taught me knitting when I was seven. I still knit sweaters and stuff.

4. Hypothetical #1 – On a rainy day in Seattle (ha!) you find yourself cooped up in your writing cave. The creative vibes are rocking through the room when a disturbance falls upon you. You find your office fading away like an old photo, and leaving you to face your greatest fear. Armed with a magical paintbrush, you can paint and bring to life three items to help you conquer it. What is your fear, and what do you use to overcome it?

I’ve always wanted to try something like this! I grew up with this awesome animated TV show for kids in Poland. A little boy had an enchanted crayon and could draw anything with it. So yeah, thank you for letting me dream! I don’t have any significant fears like Ron Weasley’s trepidation toward spiders. But facing a vampire would definitely spike up my heartbeat and not in a good way. I’m not talking about sparkling vampires from Twilight, or any other swoon-worthy creatures, but the real deal—Bram Stoker’s vampire type (*shudders*).

I get my magical paintbrush and, with one flick of my wrist, produce a magic powder, as potent as the fairy dust. It sparkles on my palm like thousands of miniature jewels, but I know what this innocent-looking thing can do. Without hesitation I gently blow, and the powder hits the vamp’s eyes. He screeches in pain, writhing on the ground, and clawing at his eyes. And then he crumbles down, and the wind picks up what’s left of him—tiny flecks of black dust. Phew, that was close.

 5. Tell us about your favorite Polish fairytale as a child. What is it about, and what makes it your favorite?

The truth is I don’t have anything favorite. Not one thing. Same with the fairytales. But one of the most loved stories from my childhood is about an old fisherman and a golden fish. The fisherman is terribly poor and unhappy. One day he catches a tiny golden fish, and she pleads in human voice to be set free. In exchange, she promises to fulfill one wish. So he lets her go and upon returning home tells his wife. The wife is mean and greedy. She yells at the husband and tells him to go back and get a new feeding trough for their pigs, because the old one is broken. Reluctantly, he goes back and asks the golden fish for the trough. She advises him to go back home. When he returns, the brand new trough is already in place. The covetous wife wants the fisherman to get even more stuff. She wants a brand new house and a large land. The husband goes back, stands by the water, but is ashamed to ask for more. Finally the fish swims up to him, inquires what else she can do, and promises to deliver once more. But of course that’s not enough for the old hag. After a week or so she demands to get a palace and an army of servants. Again, the man asks the fish, and the fish grants the wish. When the fisherman returns home, there is a grand palace, and many servants. The servants ask who is he and what does he want there. When he tells them, they check with the wife, but she only laughs and instructs them to set dogs on him. He tries and tries again, with no avail. After a week the wife sends her maid to the fisherman, commanding him to go to the lake and tell the fish to become her servant.

When the fish hears this absurd request, she only flicks her tail and disappears in the water. The man goes back home and what does he see? No palace, no servants, no signs of the previous wealth. There is only his old, small house by the woods, and his wife, who sits on the stairs and repairs his tattered fishing nets.

 6. Forged by Greed has been said to have “an excellent new take on shifters that will leave you wanting more.” What is it about your shifters that make them stand out from others in the genre?

I’m sure every reader has his or her own opinion about this. And yes, many readers have told me how much they’ve enjoyed these particular Shifters. I think it’s a combination of many aspects: two rivaling Races lead by two mythological deities; the Races are organized into these secretive societies, with their own rules and traditions; the Universe’s powers highly affect the stability in the world, and it is up to the Shifters to stand united and against it; there are monsters, the Spirits of the Realms, and the Goddesses—and all of them play significant roles in the plot, either helping or interfering in the protagonists’ quest.

7. Hypothetical #2 – You’re on a late night stroll in a forest. During your starlit walk, you find a gorgeous lake surrounded by tall pine trees. The lake is still, reflecting the moon and the stars that flicker above. When you stop to admire the scene, something silent and deadly stalks up behind you. It’s…it’s…a Bukavac!!! (I did my research into Slavic-based monsters). The creature creeps forwards on all six legs, horns curling out of his body and face. He leaps onto your back with a ferocious roar, and tries to strangle you. Using only your ingenuity and the forest around you, how do you escape the beast’s wrath?

What the heck is a Bukavac? Thank God for Wikipedia (*chuckles*). Sooooo, the Serbian demon. Eh, piece of cake. I still have the magic powder on the palm of my hand (don’t tell my kids! I’m a stickler for washing hands). I rub it on its forehead, right between its horns. The beast prances out of the way, sits down on its haunches, and its head swivels from side to side. A low gurgling sound comes out of its throat, and its eyes cross and water. It snaps its jaws but rather lazily; or maybe it can’t focus. I pat it on the top of its head, turn around, and walk deeper into the forest, hoping for a better challenge.

 8. If you’re still here for this question, I assume you’ve survived the beast. So take a second to catch your breath, then tell us about something you enjoy doing in your spare time that has nothing to do with books.

 You mean that Bukavac? Pfffftt.

I normally don’t have “spare time”, being an author, a wife, and a mom of two kiddos. But from time to time I try really hard to do some rock climbing, walk or run outdoors, ski (when the season permits), and bike. I really like rollerblading too, but haven’t done it for a while. I also draw and paint in watercolor, make jewelry, knit, and even sew a bit.

9. The publishing path can be one of many ups and downs. What advice could you give someone considering going the self-publishing path? Anything you wish you’d known before you started? 

Be mentally and time-wise prepared for A LOT of work. Talk with the other indie authors, join author and reader groups, get involved with the book bloggers, learn how to navigate the deep waters of social media and, most importantly, how to stay on track. Fit writing time into your daily schedule, and don’t waste time, endlessly browsing through that Facebook or Twitter.

10. Did you always know you wanted to be a writer, and was self-publishing your initial option, or did you try to query and take the traditional path first? What made you decide to go at it on your own?

Since my childhood books have been a major part of my life. I’ve enjoyed reading and writing as a child and a teen. But when I graduated from college with a degree that had nothing to do with writing, journalism, or publishing, my path became more of a reader and not much of a writer. That has changed when my first child was born. He loved when I told him stories and demanded so many of them that I had to start making them up, including Star Wars improvisations. That’s how I’ve returned to writing.

As for the publishing, at first I’ve definitely considered going the traditional path. But when I got involved with a couple of indie author groups, I have realized that the self-publishing option appeals much more to me. So I’ve never sent that first query letter and, instead, I spent a lot of time researching and learning the indie ways.

11. Before we get to the quickie questions, describe the Forged by Greed series in seven words or less.

Cool urban fantasy thriller with mythology elements.

What’s your preference?

Writing With or Without Music:  Both, but I love writing with music. Especially when it comes to the action scenes. I’ve written the entire final battle in Forged by Greed while listening to the Lord of The Rings soundtrack.

Dream Vacation or Dream Car: Can I have both? Somewhere in the tropics. Limited edition Lamborghini.

Cats or Dogs: Both.

Spiders or Snakes: Can you be more specific? To eat, play, or scream in terror? Neither.

Chocolate or Caramel:  Yum. Both!

5 Favorites

Food: So, seriously—I don’t have anything favorite. But Tex-Mex would be the closest.

Cereal: Gluten-free granola.

Color: Nope. I definitely like most of them.

80’s Movie: Desperately Seeking Susan.

Smell: The smell of clean wind.

Thank you, Matt. This was very entertaining!

Special thanks to Angela for stopping by today. If you want to find out more about her, find her here:

Website

Twitter

Facebook 

                                                                           Ash over at Smash Attack Readers is one of my                                                                                         favorite bloggers. And one of my favorite things about her blog is the World Building Wednesdays, where she invites authors to talk about World Building (one of her favorite aspects of a novel). She always has a full line-up of posts on her blog, and has become so busy she now works with a team of reviewers on her site. So now that she’s agreed to be my Blogger Alert for the month of May, I get to do one of my favorite things, and turn the interview spotlight on a blogger. Let the DOOM begin!

The Interview

1. For the sake of starting out simple, tell us how you got involved with blogging, and what made you decide to start your own site?

I’ve actually been blogging for about 15 years. I started out a personal journal on LiveJournal and moved to Blogger. My friend back home, Brooke, was really involved in blogging and reviewing books about 5 years ago. I’ve always had a love for reading so I became really interested in this new world she introduced to me. I noticed my personal blog started to become overrun with bookish posts, so I decided to take the plunge in 2010. I can’t believe I’ve been doing this for almost 3 years. I sometimes feel like I just started.

2. As a busy blogger, sometimes you lose the opportunity to read what you want, when you want. You have a stack of books to be reviewed that is constantly staring back at you, and you have commitments that you’ve made to them. Now, sometimes we pick up a book that sounds interesting, but later we put on our shelves because we’re not in the mood for it. I imagine this is the same thing that happens with review books, only you don’t always have the opportunity to put them aside. So tell me, are there any books you had to read because of a review deadline that ended up taking you by surprise and completely captivating you?

Um, YOUR books. All of them, but I think I loved Shift the best. That was the book where I noticed growth in your writing. Not to say you don’t grow with each book, but that book left me hella impressed. And no, I’m not kissing your bum. You already know this, maaaaaan.

Obviously, Ash gets me.  

3. Smash Attack Reads started with just you, but as you became overloaded with requests, you took on some associate reviewers. But even now, you’re so busy that you don’t take unsolicited review requests. There are a lot of bloggers out there that have come to this point, and I think it’s a sign of great success for what you’ve done. But for an author you’ve never worked with before, it might be disheartening. If there are any new or aspiring authors out there, is there any advice you could give them on how to break in and get your attention? 

Personally, I think there are plenty of blogs out there that still take review requests. Also, get on Twitter and promote your arse off. I discovered most of the authors I have relationships with now that way. After I’ve gotten to know authors on Twitter, I’ve reviewed their work even though I’m not taking requests. I think Twitter is where you need to be. Also, I stopped taking review requests because I found myself not wanting to read the books I accepted. I think this is purely psychological, like when kids don’t do what their told because you told them. I know there are other bloggers out there with this very problem, but there are plenty who still want to review. And as far as indie authors go, I feel like there is a solid network of bloggers who support you guys. I didn’t think I would read as much indie work as I have, and I’m glad that I took the plunge. Some of my favorite authors are indies.

4. Tell us three things that you love about blogging, and three things you hate about it.

Since I’m a total Type A personality, I love the scheduling, organization, planning piece. A lot. It’s kinda like how I would rather reorganize my bookshelves or my scrapbooking stuff than do the actual hobbies. Thankfully, I can push that impulse down into the darkest depths. I also LOVE the camaraderie and community. Book bloggers are the nicest, most generous people, not to mention ridiculously fun and entertaining. This is the highlight of it all, for me. I love discovering new reads! Of course, my wallet nor my husband appreciate this too much. I just read an epic YA high fantasy series that I had never heard of until ladies in my book club started talking about it. I don’t have bookish people around in real life often, so I just love being able to interact with other book whores.

What I dislike is the drama that seems to ebb and flow. I’ve learned to stay out of it and if it involves me, deal with it offline. I try my hardest to stay out of that mess though. I get enough drama with the middle schoolers at work. My drama quota floweth over. I also dislike not having the right type of thinking to come up with awesome discussion posts on the regular. I am envious of blogs who do this well, because discussion posts are my favorite type of post to read. I also dislike the amount of books there are to choose from. Not to say I want there to be less people writing, but holy crap. I have almost 600 books in my home or on my Kindle that I have not read, and that is after 3 years of blogging. If I stay at it, my arse will be broke (or kicked out). They only highlight to this is I will be able to build a home out of the books!

5. Hypothetical #1 – You’re trapped in a basement with three characters from three different books. One is a secondary character, one is a protagonist, and one is an antagonist. They’re all ready to profess their undying love for you. The problem is, if you don’t get them back in their books, those stories will be unwritten, tearing the fabric of our reality, and our world could be destroyed. Who are the characters, what books are they from, and how do you break their hearts and still convince them to get back onto the pages?

Holy awesome question, Batman! I think the protagonist will have to be Adam from Where She Went by Gayle Forman. He is a broken soul in this book and I would love to heal his heart. Of course, he only has eyes for Mia, so I guess I would convince her to do her magic to lure him back to his destiny. Besides, I wouldn’t want to break up a happy home. The antagonist will definitely be The Darkling from the Grisha series by Leigh Bardugo. I simultaneously love and loathe this character. He intrigues the crap out of me. He is a charmer so I would just need to flip the script and throw some of my charm his way. *snicker* My secondary character will NO DOUBT be Roar from Veronica Rossi’s Under The Never Sky series. I have put that guy on a pedestal that he will never, ever come down from. Ever. His perfection is in his imperfection. One of the most real characters I’ve come across. Unfortunately for me, Liv is his true love so I think it’s my heart that will be broken.

 6. For any avid readers out there who might consider getting involved in blogging, what kind of advice could you give them for starting out?

• BE YOURSELF, and they will come.
• Do not take more requests than you can handle. I repeat, do not take more requests than you can handle.
• Be clear about the genres you review, not only for your followers, but for yourself, too. But also don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone and try new genres. I’ve discovered amazing books that way!
• I 100% support self-hosting. It takes some knowledge, so read up and choose a good blogging platform. I recommend WordPress. They have plugins out the wazoo to help streamline the process for you. Plus, you can buy Ashley’s Ultimate Book Blogging Plugin, which is the BOMB.
• Go to author events in your area. Not only because meeting authors is SO FUN, but it’s prime time to network.
• Buy Amanda’s Blog Smarter tool.
• Lastly, don’t let the pressure get to you. Set a schedule that is comfortable and doable for you. If you only post 2 times a week to start, that is fine! I think quality is definitely more important than quantity.

7. What kind of things do you enjoy doing when you’re not reading? 

I love to scrapbook. That comes in waves because it is just as time consuming and expensive as being a book review blogger, but it is the one area I can be creatively successful, in my mind. Plus, I get to use my hands and be a kid again. I also scrap with another book lover and blogger, Mandee, and I think I love that girly time with another crafter. It can get pretty boring doing it all by your onesies.

8. Hypothetical #2 – You come home from a hard day at work, and find your house ransacked. There is a small goblin lying sprawled out on your floor. His belly is swollen, his feet are warty and blistered, with long nails curling under his toes and skin flaking onto your floor. He has a half-eaten book cover hanging out of his mouth. You realize he’s eaten every book in your home, and your heart breaks. With a swift kick to his belly, he wakes up and offers to use his goblin magic and bring back three of your books. What books are they?

This goblin reminds me of Grizlemor from J.L. Bryan’s Songs of Magic series. LOL. It seems like something that sneaky goblin would do. This question is so difficult and would likely change with my mood. Right now, I would ask for Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman, Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor and Charlotte’s Web by E.B. White.

 9.    You host World Building Wednesdays on your blog, giving authors the chance to talk about your favorite aspect of a book. What is it about world building that makes it your favorite, and can you share with my readers one book that has done it so well, it blows you away?

Well, world building definitely stands out more in the fantasy and paranormal novels, to me. It’s the creation of the world, from the culture, setting, government or kingdom, supernatural aspects, etc, that just blows me away from a creative standpoint. World building is a major reason I love the dystopian genre so much. We get a power-hungry, immoral power entity, a harsh situation, people struggling to survive and losing their humanity. I love the fantasy world because the authors create such vivid and imaginative other-worlds. Daughter of Smoke and Bone by Laini Taylor is one of the best fantasy world-building I’ve come across in all my reading days. I am also high impressed with Thea Harrison’s world-building in her Elder Races series.

 10.  You’re open to reading a lot of different genres. Is there any genre(s) that you just can’t for the life you pick up and read? Why?

Western Fiction, Religious fiction, Chick lit, Literary Fiction (save a few), Poetry, Self-Help, and most contemporary fiction/romance, though I’ve started reading more YA contemporary, which I am enjoying.

11. Owls are your things in a big way. Can you explain what started that obsession and what it is about them that you love?

We can all blame that on scrapbooking. Some years back, they started creating wicked cute owl embellishments and stuff. It spiraled quickly form there. I LOVE how so many people I come into contact with via blogging tell me they think of me when they see anything owl related. I’ve also gotten owl gifts from bloggers!! I’ll be honest and tell you I have no clue why I love them so much. They are just cute and it’s that one thing I get giddy about.

Okay, before we get to the quickie questions. Ash showed me an owl video, and it’s CRAZY. Check out this owl which can transform itself into a menacing-looking owl. Hilarious. That video is messed up, am I right? That owl is creepy. For the record, I’m all about birds of prey. I love falcons, but for me, eagles are where it’s at. I have a bit of an obsession for them.

What’s your preference?

Paperback, Hardcover, or eBook: ALL. Honestly, I only buy hardcovers if I love the cover. I LOVE to display covers on my shelves. Most of the PNR and UF books come in mass market paperback form, which is ok, but I’m not a fan of how it looks on the shelf. And well, eBooks are just wicked convenient.

Dream Vacation or Dream Car:  Vacation, all the way. I want to travel the world. I am so very interested in learning about other cultures and ways of life.

Cats or Dogs: Well, this is hard. Right now, I’m going with cats since I have 3 of them and I adore them to cuddly bits. I did have a chow chow for 15 years, however, and I look forward to having one again one day. Hopefully, a shiba inu.

Spiders or Snakes: SNAKES. I like reptiles. I’m in Georgia, where spiders like to visit me intimately in the summer. Thank the lawd for my cats!

Chocolate or Caramel: Toffee??

5 Favorites

Food: PEANUT BUTTER. I think. J

Color: Orange and Hot Pink

80s Movie: *flails* This is an unfair question! I might have to go with Labyrinth. Or The Neverending Story. Or Cant Buy Me Love. Or The Breakfast Club. Or Footloose.

Smell: COFFEE.

Reading spot: My bed. It’s about the only spot I gots.

Thanks for shining your awesome spotlight on me, Matty!! ♥

Okay I’ve got some things to add. First, Shiba Inu is a wicked breed of dog and I can’t wait to have one. Second, the fact that you have spiders getting up close and personal with you makes me never want to visit. And lastly, this was a great interview. Thank you to Ash for stopping by and giving us some insight into the awesomeness that is her! 

If you want more of ash (who am kidding, of course you do), find her EVERYWHERE:

Website

Goodreads

Twitter

Facebook

The time for waiting is over. Today, a whole group of amazing people are out to spread the word. Endure, The Protector Book 4, is coming June 5 2013. To celebrate that, it’s time for the cover reveal! Check it out, along with the excerpt, spread the word, and let me know what you think!

 Cover Artwork: Parajunkee Design

Wrapped in darkness and woven with defeat, every action Chase has taken since being exiled from the Circle has been met with a devastating response. Now he’s been burdened with a quest that seems impossible, and he needs to evolve into something more—something greater than he ever thought he could be.

Armed with magic, friendship, and an unbreakable will, Chase must build an army and find a weapon capable of defeating the ultimate evil. But he knows that nothing great comes without sacrifice. Blessed by the very gods who have abandoned him and carrying the fate of all the worlds on his shoulders, Chase Williams is about find out just how much one man can endure.

As tomorrow is May 1st, and the cover reveal, I won’t be posting my Blogger/Author alerts until May 2nd and 3rd. This month I have two pretty great people coming at you, but this month is also going to signify some change as well. Starting in June, I’m changing the process. Rather than spotlight one author and one blogger for the entire month, I’m going to do either or, and alternate them. The reason being is that I tend to make the  interviews a little longer, and often times I leave them to the last minute (no matter how many times I tell myself I won’t do that again). I’m really trying to focus on writing my new series, and since I like to invest a fair bit of time in my interviews, it makes more sense right now to have one of them each month rather than two. So to recap, this month you get a blogger and an author, but next month it will be one or the other, and we’ll mix it up from there.

This Saturday I’m off to a writing workshop with Donald Maass, and I have to tell you, I am very excited. I started reading his book, Writing 21st Century Fiction, and it’s pretty awesome. I’ve stayed away from reading book on writing, for no other reason than I’d rather be writing, but I wanted to prepare myself for his workshop, and I’m very happy that I’ve taken this on. I’m already mentally developing all kinds of advances in my upcoming series, The Nova Chronicles, that might not have been put into place without his book. It’s going to amplify my ability to tell a story, of that much I am certain.

In 36 days, Endure is officially going live on all online sales outlets. This is the book. The way it all comes together. The story funnelling down into a single climax of epic proportions. I hope that with your help, this release can be a huge success. I’d love to put The Protector series on the map by getting this book up high in the rankings on all sales channels. In addition, Exiled is still free at all available ebook outlets, and will remain so for the next month. If you know anyone you think might be interested in the series, please send them to their ereader of choice, and get them started on this incredible adventure for free!

And finally, as promised, I have officially launched my Newsletter. Outside of that link, there are two ways to sign-up:

1) Check the right side bar next to my blog and just enter your e-mail (you’ll need to confirm this via an e-mail sent do you)

2) Check out the News column on my home page. There’s a link to a sign-up form there as well.

To ease your mind, these Newsletters will only come out a few times a year, at best. They will not be regular, or in any way, spam-like. In them, I’ll include detailed information about upcoming books, sales, and/or giveaways, as well as exclusive content that nobody but my subscribers will see. There may even be a few chances to win signed copies of my books and swag throughout the year, but that’s for subscribers only!

That’s it for now. I will see you tomorrow for the unveiling of the final book in The Protector, Endure. My favorite cover, for my favorite book!

The wonderful Val @ Stuck In Books is  organizing a promo event for the release of Endure (Protector #4).

June 3rd through June 14th

Release date for Endure is June 5th

Blogs may post any time during that window.

Post information will include an excerpt and a 10 eBook giveaway for winner’s choice of Shift or Release.

If you are interesting in participating, please fill out the form below.

1. The sound of a fork sliding between teeth or across a plate. I know this is two in one, but a fork is a fork is a fork, and basically, the sounds they make kill me. When I’m eating, if I hear a fork slide between someone’s teeth, or even my own (it’s worse when it’s my own), it will give me an instant shudder and make me want to die. Okay, the latter might be an exaggeration, but it’s not far off.

2. The feeling of paper on my fingers/hands when my hands are dry. This probably sounds strange to most people, but it makes me want to throw things. This is primarily the reason I prefer ebooks. I dont’ want to be licking the tips of my fingers constantly, and when I have to turn the page, my finger sliding over the paper will cause me to cringe. It’s even worse if I accidentally drag my fingernail over it. I will drop the book and have a chill. Weird? Probably. But there it is.

3. My feet on the floor when they are dry. Okay, it’s probably starting to look like I have a thing against dry skin. Maybe I do. I lotion my feet constantly and I almost always where socks, except for in the summer. I can’t even stand walking in my house without socks or slippers. Unless of course my feet aren’t dry, but most of the time I won’t even take the risk. I know, you’re all thinking I’m a freak now. That’s cool. My feet are baby soft so take that!

4. Imaginary creatures crawling on me. This one is a little different. You know when you see a spider in your house, but then you lose track of it before you can dispose of it? Yeah, that. You try to sit down and enjoy yourself, but there is no escaping the pitter-patter of eight little legs running across your back. This, my friends, can ruin an entire evening. Why? Because I’ll be on my hands and knees with a flashlight looking for that son of a…arachnid. And even if I find him, my imagination has already been kicked into high gear. There could be more of them…

5. Stepping on Lego. You can disagree with everything on this list, but this is one of the worst feelings of life. I don’t even know what else to say. Thinking about it makes me upset.

6. Wet Socks. Obviously, we’re seeing a recurring theme here. Dry feet, wet socks, yes, I have a thing with my feet. But you know what, they’re big and they’re important to my mobility. But really, wet socks? This is one of those feelings that doesn’t give me chills, and it doesn’t creep me out. You know what it does? It pisses me off. Take that as an overreaction if you will, but I hate it! This is the one thing that will make me do a rage dance. What’s worse is that it’s a common experience for me after an early morning Tee Time on the golf course. So throughout the summer, there are many a rage dances to be had.

7. Magpies. If these aren’t one of the most annoying birds on the planets, I don’t know what is. They flock outside my house and screech all damn morning. If I could have a pet eagle to take care of them for me, I would, but there are groups and government programs that frown upon that sort of thing, and so I must suffer. This one was made even worse last summer when I worked at my day job. I had to take over the warehouse work for a while, and since it was so hot out, I had the big bay doors open. Well, in came two magpies to ruin my day. I spent ten hours trying to get them out of there. Between squirt guns, brooms, and calling every animal control place I could find, it was to no avail. Magpies 1 – Matty 0.

8. Alarm Clocks. I’m fairly certain we can all agree on this one. The sound (even if it’s the middle of they day) makes me instantly tired. This stupid contraptions—although often necessary—ruin days across the world all the time. They should all be disposed of. And before you say anything, yes, I’ve tried using music and the radio to wake me up. It doesn’t work.

9. Sticky Hands. First, get your mind out of the gutter. Second, I know we’re revisiting the whole hands and feet thing again. I have issues, okay? But I can’t deal with this. I’m a constant hand washer (hence the occasionally dry hands), and I just don’t handle this one well. I will put up with this for the sake of crafts with my kids, but I’ll be silently cursing the glue the entire time. Maybe I’m too uptight. Perhaps I should take up Yoga.

10. Canker Sores. I was struggling to come up with another one, and since I have one of these right now that’s making me want to rip my face off, I thought it should go on the list. I’m sure if I wasn’t trying to write this post I could come up with a hundred different ones, but alas, such is not the way of my writing mind. Maybe I’ll work on a 10 Smells that Make Me Gag…I could make that happen.

Now it’s your turn. What are some feelings and/or sounds that drive you crazy? No listing smells…that is for another time.