We all have those things that bother us. For some it’s nails on a chalkboard, for others it’s when people crack their knuckles. Or maybe it’s they way a certain fabric feels against your skin. These are things that for whatever reason, drive us completely batty. Today I’m going to share with you ten sounds and feelings that make me shudder, give me goosebumps, and literally make me want to do an instant rage dance. In no particular order, here they are.
1. The sound of a fork sliding between teeth or across a plate. I know this is two in one, but a fork is a fork is a fork, and basically, the sounds they make kill me. When I’m eating, if I hear a fork slide between someone’s teeth, or even my own (it’s worse when it’s my own), it will give me an instant shudder and make me want to die. Okay, the latter might be an exaggeration, but it’s not far off.
2. The feeling of paper on my fingers/hands when my hands are dry. This probably sounds strange to most people, but it makes me want to throw things. This is primarily the reason I prefer ebooks. I dont’ want to be licking the tips of my fingers constantly, and when I have to turn the page, my finger sliding over the paper will cause me to cringe. It’s even worse if I accidentally drag my fingernail over it. I will drop the book and have a chill. Weird? Probably. But there it is.
3. My feet on the floor when they are dry. Okay, it’s probably starting to look like I have a thing against dry skin. Maybe I do. I lotion my feet constantly and I almost always where socks, except for in the summer. I can’t even stand walking in my house without socks or slippers. Unless of course my feet aren’t dry, but most of the time I won’t even take the risk. I know, you’re all thinking I’m a freak now. That’s cool. My feet are baby soft so take that!
4. Imaginary creatures crawling on me. This one is a little different. You know when you see a spider in your house, but then you lose track of it before you can dispose of it? Yeah, that. You try to sit down and enjoy yourself, but there is no escaping the pitter-patter of eight little legs running across your back. This, my friends, can ruin an entire evening. Why? Because I’ll be on my hands and knees with a flashlight looking for that son of a…arachnid. And even if I find him, my imagination has already been kicked into high gear. There could be more of them…
5. Stepping on Lego. You can disagree with everything on this list, but this is one of the worst feelings of life. I don’t even know what else to say. Thinking about it makes me upset.
6. Wet Socks. Obviously, we’re seeing a recurring theme here. Dry feet, wet socks, yes, I have a thing with my feet. But you know what, they’re big and they’re important to my mobility. But really, wet socks? This is one of those feelings that doesn’t give me chills, and it doesn’t creep me out. You know what it does? It pisses me off. Take that as an overreaction if you will, but I hate it! This is the one thing that will make me do a rage dance. What’s worse is that it’s a common experience for me after an early morning Tee Time on the golf course. So throughout the summer, there are many a rage dances to be had.
7. Magpies. If these aren’t one of the most annoying birds on the planets, I don’t know what is. They flock outside my house and screech all damn morning. If I could have a pet eagle to take care of them for me, I would, but there are groups and government programs that frown upon that sort of thing, and so I must suffer. This one was made even worse last summer when I worked at my day job. I had to take over the warehouse work for a while, and since it was so hot out, I had the big bay doors open. Well, in came two magpies to ruin my day. I spent ten hours trying to get them out of there. Between squirt guns, brooms, and calling every animal control place I could find, it was to no avail. Magpies 1 – Matty 0.
8. Alarm Clocks. I’m fairly certain we can all agree on this one. The sound (even if it’s the middle of they day) makes me instantly tired. This stupid contraptions—although often necessary—ruin days across the world all the time. They should all be disposed of. And before you say anything, yes, I’ve tried using music and the radio to wake me up. It doesn’t work.
9. Sticky Hands. First, get your mind out of the gutter. Second, I know we’re revisiting the whole hands and feet thing again. I have issues, okay? But I can’t deal with this. I’m a constant hand washer (hence the occasionally dry hands), and I just don’t handle this one well. I will put up with this for the sake of crafts with my kids, but I’ll be silently cursing the glue the entire time. Maybe I’m too uptight. Perhaps I should take up Yoga.
10. Canker Sores. I was struggling to come up with another one, and since I have one of these right now that’s making me want to rip my face off, I thought it should go on the list. I’m sure if I wasn’t trying to write this post I could come up with a hundred different ones, but alas, such is not the way of my writing mind. Maybe I’ll work on a 10 Smells that Make Me Gag…I could make that happen.
Now it’s your turn. What are some feelings and/or sounds that drive you crazy? No listing smells…that is for another time.