Resolutions

Posted by on Jan 3, 2012 in Random, Rant And Ramble | 6 comments

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. I have nothing against them, it’s not as though they’ve ever done me wrong. I don’t have a problem with people who make resolutions. A resolution is a personal choice you make for you, to improve your own well being. Who can criticize that? Not me.

On a personal level, the idea of a New Years resolution is just another thing for me to put off changing if I don’t succeed. “I didn’t do it this year, but I’ll make it happen next year. I have 12 more months to prepare.”  For me personally, it’s just an excuse if I fail. I know that sounds pessimistic, but it’s just the way I feel. I believe in facing the truth and making resolutions, but I don’t do it because it’s the start of a new year. I do it today, tomorrow, the day after that, and right now. Because today is a new day, and if I don’t succeed, tomorrow is the beginning of another new day, and right now is the beginning of the rest of my life.

I make resolutions when they suit me. If there is a change that’s needed in my life, or in my personal world, or something I need to do to make things better, then I’ll make a resolution and try to make a difference. Sometimes it works and sometimes I fail, but I start right now and I’ll try until either I succeed, or I realize it’s not working because a change isn’t really needed. Sometimes I’m just approaching the change the wrong way. Sometimes it just takes time to figure out, because I’m not ready for that change.

2011 ended on a rocky edge for me, and 2012 started with me hanging on to it. The clock hit midnight and nothing changed. My world was exactly as it was a few moments before, which was not good enough. I didn’t recognize that a change was needed because it was the end of the year. I realized there was a change needed because my world wasn’t working for me. Something wasn’t right. What was that something? I still have no idea. My personal resolution isn’t to change the world, it’s to change my world. Maybe that change is minor, maybe it’s a drastic overhaul – something completely different. I haven’t figured that out yet, but one way or another, change is here.

I don’t love change and I don’t hate it. Most of the time I’m not even afraid of it, but sometimes, change is scary. When the fear sets in, that’s when things get difficult, but the one thing I try to remember, and it isn’t always easy, is that just because it’s scary, doesn’t mean it’s not right. Fear causes doubt and sometimes you can’t follow your gut, your head, or your heart. Sometimes you have to take a leap of faith, sometimes, you have to let go of the cliff, and sometimes you just have to be brave enough to take a chance, because when push comes to shove, it’s not brave if you’re not scared.

    6 Comments

  1. My new years resolution was to not eat AS much glue…cut back, ya know? 😉

    Yeah, changes in life suck, because the fear does factor into it…a LOT. There's no easy way to change what's bugging us, especially if we can't pin point that shit. So with my wise words…listen carefully…everything in life happens for a reason. With the decisions that we face each day, they allow everything to fall into place the way it needs to be. (not always what we want, but oh well)
    Good luck with all your changes and remember that you have a pretty fuckin' awesome support system out there.

  2. I hear ya… 2011 was an effing rollercoaster, and not necessarily one of the fun ones. Is it possible we're both dangling off the same cliff? 😉 2012 WILL be a year of change, I'm certain of that….

  3. I wasn't expecting to stumble onto such a deep post. Maybe I shouldn't even comment, because we aren't close or anything. But why not.

    There was a time in my life when I thought I needed change. I felt like if I didn't have that change, I would explode. In the end it wasn't really the change I needed, it was accepting the change that had already happened.

    My situation was completely different I'm sure, but I guess my point is, we have all been through downs, and if you ever need someone to talk too, finding a listener shouldn't be hard! 🙂

    I hope the new year brings what your looking for. 🙂

  4. Dear Sir,

    You picked words and thoughts straight out of my soul and put them in written form…you've perfectly framed my state of mind when it comes to resolutions and change.

    Happy New Day ~

    Danita Clark Able

  5. Taking It One Book – You're absolutely right, and I know it. Some days it's that incredible support system that keeps me going.

    KC – It's very possible we're on the same cliff…although I really hope you're not on the same on the same one as me. Not a fun place to be. 2012 is definitely the year of change!

  6. April – Thanks for the comment. You could definitely be right.

    Letters – Glad I'm not alone! Thanks for the comment 🙂

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