Scared To Death

Posted by on Apr 13, 2011 in Uncategorized | 5 comments

So anyone that’s been following this blog knows that my first book, Exiled, will be released soon. I’m aiming for an end of May/middle of June date if things go well and as things get closer, I find I’m terrified.

I’ve been excited (if that can even sum up the emotional ride of publishing) to have it out for months. I was equally excited to start book 2: Shift, however, as the date creeps closer, the butterflies are floating inside me (actually they feel more like sharks trying to chew themselves out of me) and Shift is suffering because of it.

I love the story, I’m truly passionate about it (of course!) and – usually – I have the utmost faith in it. Lately though, I’ve been filled with nothing but fear. What if the world, or rather, the people who do buy it, hate it? What if the one star reviews start to pile up? What if the story I love, is actually a story that’s hated?

I didn’t want to share my feelings, but since this blog is all about my journey to publication, I think it would be unfair if I didn’t. The people who have read the book loved it, and I don’t say that lightly, but a handful of beta readers compared to the amount that might (a lot of people if I’m lucky) buy this book is a very small group.  So naturally I’m fearful.

As yesterday’s post stated, some days you love your own work, other days you hate it. Hopefully you love it more often than you hate it, but I’ve come to the conclusion it’s all part of being an artist. These fears that have crept up on me however, are making me doubt myself even more. That isn’t good.

Don’t get me wrong, I won’t let being scared stop me from releasing it. I’ve spent a long time working on this book and even more time developing the series as a whole. I’m not backing down now. It’s with a professional editor now, who’s giving it that shiny polish and I’ve hired an amazing cover artist. I’m as ready as I can be, but that doesn’t push the sharks away. It’s a strange emotional rollercoaster I’m on.

You know the shadow’s can’t hurt you,  but that doesn’t stop people from being be afraid of the dark right?

What about you:

As your project(s) get’s closer to completion, can you relate to all this? If you’re an author who has already published their novel, what was it like? Did you have these same fears or am I just being a worrywart (hey, it’s been known to happen). And if you’re not an author, tell me about your experience on giving your creation to the world.

    5 Comments

  1. Being so nervous is completely understandable! I'm sure your book is great. Good luck!

  2. Be so nervous is completely understandable! I'm sure your book is great. Good luck!

  3. Matt, you are spot on, with the rest of us. Any writer who boldly states I am not the least bit worried or scared isn't being completely honest. I felt the same way…but I'll do you one even more to the point. When I owned my theatre, I decided to write a show of my own. It seemed funny, had a good cast and lots of comical moments. So opening night comes, we are OVERSOLD with the toughest reviewer in the audience, plus earlier that day a huge full page spread in the local paper…So Here I am like an expectant father pacing as not only did I write it, direct it, but I'm in it too. I've not no place to hide. I have to face everyone before during and after the show. But then something magical happened..the laughter started…it built and 90 mins later, the house cheered and the reviewer called me at home that night and said, you've stuck gold..your 5 star review will be on front page of the entertainment section Sunday morning. I could have cried. So for me I got instant feedback on my work as I was scared out of my mind no one would think I was funny as a writer. Since then I've written a total of 20 comedies for the theatre. Live the dream and damn the torpedos!
    your friend Tom

  4. That's amazing Tom. That would surely be more than my soul could bare right now lol. I can imagine the tension and nervousness you must've felt. Thanks for sharing, I will keep that in mind next time I'm stressing about my writing and remember there could be a full theater of people watching!

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