If any of you have followed me or read this blog at all, you know why I haven’t been posting. Believe me when I tell you I’m not happy about it.
My first novel is complete but I have yet to find representation for it. Now granted, there are many out there that say your first novel is garbage, no matter how good you think it is, but I disagree. I’m quite happy with the way my novel turned out. I lost faith in it for a while when the rejections starting rolling in, but having not been able to write lately, I’ve had a wave of ambition roll through me. I do think it’s a great novel, it’s a fantastic idea, and it’s well written. Of course this is a humble opinion of my work, but still, why are you trying to sell your novel if you don’t believe in it? Do I think my novel could be better? Absolutely, can’t something always be better? The difference is that I’m not sure I can make it better. Maybe it needs an agents thoughts, or perhaps an editors. It’s possible the book is missing something, or I’ve developed a character in an unappealing way. I don’t believe that’s the case, but then again, I don’t pretend to be the wise old owl either.
I’m eager to start working on a new project, I’ve had an idea percolating in my mind for a while and I’m dying to get it into a monitor and onto a hard drive. Some might ask why I don’t just write using pen and paper, you know, the old fashion way. But my dear friends there is a reason for this: I don’t have great penmanship. There are times when I can’t even read what I wrote. It is possible for me to write with smooth, clear, even strokes, but then I must write in a very slow way. The problem with this is the words escape me before I can finish the sentence. This is where typing 80 words-per-minute comes in handy.
Since I don’t have the money to buy a new computer and I really can’t put it on my credit cards, I’ve gotten a second job, hence even less blog posts then usual. Now granted, I didn’t get the second job ONLY to buy a new computer, some new expenses have come up personally and I must have a second job. At least temporarily.
This brings me to my topic today. There are hundreds of authors in this world, and thousands more that aspire to be, maybe more. So did these published authors sail under a lucky star to get where they are, did they get a high-class education that gave them the tools to do so? Did they have some source of income that allowed them not to work and simply write full-time? Or maybe they had nothing. No money, no job, no education but a raw talent like no other. They found a pen and paper and unleashed a flurry of strokes to reveal something amazing. They made an opportunity for themselves.
I do have a point to all this ranting and raving and the point is this: I worked a full-time job, and wrote in the evening after my daughter was asleep and while my wife was at work. I made time to write this novel. It doesn’t mean it’ll be published, but if I want it bad enough I’ll keep striding forward and maybe, one day, I’ll reach my goal of publication. If I’m really lucky maybe even the opportunity to write full-time will come my way.
Recently my computer jumped off a cliff. It couldn’t handle my outrageous words and decided to disassemble itself. With new expenses rising and everyday life coming at me I was forced to get a second job. Now I have no machine to write on AND less time than ever. But I won’t give up. I’ll work my second job, jot down my ideas and thoughts when I can, and when I get my new computer I’ll attack in with cool verbiage, and insane plotlines. Pushing the keys until the midnight hour is long past and my story unrolls itself page after page. And when all is complete, I’ll battle my arch nemesis: the revisions.
So now life has gotten in the way a little, but I’ll find a way to make it work. What about you? It doesn’t have to be a great novel, it doesn’t have to be a publishable piece at all. Maybe it doesn’t have anything to do with writing. There’s nothing in this life that can stop you but yourself. Fear lives inside you, you create it and you choose whether you’ll live by it’s rules.
Nothing should hold you back from your dream. It’s your dream. Claim it, own it, and push to obtain it. Some believe that if you don’t try you can’t fail, but I believe not trying is the only way to fail. Push forward friends, don’t let anything hold you down.
So tell me: What are your dreams? Have they come true? If not, what are you doing to get yourself one step closer. And if you’re not moving closer, what’s holding you back? Have you looked in the mirrior?